The internet has changed the way we communicate today. In the early days of the Internet, many of us used to meet random girls on the Instant Messengers trying to start off a relationship with an unknown girl. However, things have changed a lot since then and we have a flurry of social network sites where we get to meet a lot of girls, look at their profile and secretly seeking their attention to strike a conversation with them. More often, people ask if it is really easy for start a conversation with an unknown girl online. The answer is yes i.e., if you know what it takes. Here are some of the effective ways to go about starting a conversation with a girl. And, yes it involves a bit of work. Are you ready? Here we go:
Google is the ultimate source of information about people who have one or more profiles on social network sites. A search on Google will reveal quite a few things you may have not have found directly on their social profiles because many people don’t reveal much of their information on their social profiles. Gather as much info about her as you can because it will help you shape your conversation with her when you get a chance to.
Stalk Her on Facebook
Stalking has acquired a negative perception over the times. However, with positive intentions, you may want to discover more about her background, hobbies and interests etc. Depending on her privacy settings, you may also get access to her photo albums and/or take a tour around her timeline and figure out what she is like before you do anything to get her attention. You might as well want to express your appreciate for her by liking her photos or witty comments she may have left on Facebook.
While you’re at it, just don’t follow a pattern – it takes time for her to like you so you really need to know how to go about doing it without appearing too desperate. Remember, you want to build an impression. Don’t send her a friend request right away. Don’t subscribe to her profile updates in a hurry either. Just wait for her updates and like them once in a while. To appear natural, you can try liking the comments of other friends on her profile too. While you’re trying your best to win her attention, make sure profile doesn’t look messy when she stalks your profile secretly.
You may want to delete any inappropriate comments you may have left here and there recently. Remove any photos that might create a wrong impression of you. Also, it makes sense to work on your profile description in a manner to come across smart and impressive to her. More on Facebook Stalking here.
Search Her Profile on LinkedIn
LinkedIn is essentially a professional network and unlike Facebook, it’s an ideal place where she is likely to accept your request here. You may still want to craft your request giving a good reason as to why you want to connect to her there. Before that you may want to polish your LinkedIn profile and look more professional to her. If she accepts your request, you may have access to her Gmail address. But don’t do anything silly as yet. Depending on her career interests, you may want to introduce her to discussions on LinkedIn which she will thank you for. This will go a long way to build an impression.
Send Her a Chat Request
Assuming you get her Gmail address from LinkedIn, try sending an email to her sharing a something useful to her. It could be a funny video or song or an article which she may really appreciate. I assume you have done your work on her tastes and interests. Since she knows you somewhat well by now, she is more likely to reply to your emails and eventually a chat request as well.
Be Yourself and Polite
When you get a chance to chat with her, be a good listener. Be yourself yet polite to her. The last thing you want is go overboard and end up asking inappropriate questions. Try to appear interested in what they are saying. Show curiosity in what they are talking about. Don’t be too impulsive or interrogative – try to know her from her conversation and build your talk accordingly. Online chatting is an art and it comes to you with deeper understanding of human psychology. Many people hold a skeptical perception towards others appearing interested in them. Just be natural and you should be fine.
If you want to know more about how to pursue a girl online, here is an interesting discussion for you.
If you’re dating a girl online and feeling anxious about how to start off on the right note, the following dating tips can help you get started. Of course, dating is more about your ability to handle a conversation naturally and honestly. However, the following tips are considered best practices and guaranteed to jump-start your conversation.
Make Her Laugh
Humor plays a key role in online dating. Try to make her laugh but don’t go cheesy – it backfires. Look at her profile and try to find what you both have in common. Maybe, you both like movies or some sports? Everybody likes a person who has a great sense of humor. So, let that sense of humor kick-start your relationship.
Learn How to Offer Compliments
If you are truly serious about starting off well, you should read her profile well enough. If you do, you will find a ton of clues about what her hobbies and passion.
For example, you can get to know if she has a great taste of rock music, or if she likes a specific restaurant in your city. Clues like these are conversation starters and can offer ample scope for you to appreciate a person to make a good first impression online.
Pro Tip: Never compliment her on her looks or appearance. This may come off cheesy.
What Do You Both Have in Common?
Nothing sparks off a good first conversation quite like common interests. They make it easy for both of you feel comfortable and natural to start a chat online. If she hasn’t written much about her interests and hobbies on her profile, try to find out from her first couple of messages and then take it from there.
Ask the Right Question
Asking a good question is often the single-most critical factor in setting the right tone for your online dating adventure. The thumb rule is never asking a close-ended question. In other word, always ask the open-ended question. An open-end question is the one that allows her to say more than just a YES or NO.
Speaking of right question, never ask her if she is ready for an offline date too in your first conversation. This might backfire big time and ruin your chances of giving the relationship a chance to grow.
Keep it Short if You’re Jittery
It’s totally normal to feel nervous about meeting a girl online for the first time. If you’re feeling the butterflies in your stomach, try to start with a simple “Hey” and then follow it up with something more engaging such as “How’s it going?” or “What’s Going on?”. These open-ended questions can set the ball rolling and help you get out of the early anxieties.
Be Honest and Humble
Ladies can smell arrogance a mile away. Dating online can be awkward as is, and it might be twice as uncomfortable to interact with a total douche. Don’t be self-deprecating but play it down. Let your conversation focus on her.
How to Start a Conversation with A Girl On Facebook
Send Her a Polite Friend Request
If you want to chat with an unknown girl on Facebook, you need to add her to your friend list first. This is often the most difficult part because only very few girls would like to accept friend requests from a complete stranger, especially keeping mind of growing number of impostors on Facebook lurking on social networks these days.
Therefore, the key to starting a conversation with a girl on Facebook is to send her a friend request she can’t really refuse.
Here’s the trick – imagine yourself sitting at an airport lounge area and you want to speak to female first the time. What would you do? How would you approach her with your first move?
This is exactly how you must articulate your words while sending her a message with a friend request on Facebook.
The reason why girls would decline a friend request on Facebook is that many people simply hit the add her as a friend button and hope she would accept it. They won’t because it doesn’t state why they would accept friendship invitation from a strange.
You need to give her a strong reason to connect with you and see value and politeness in your promise.
There’s no specific template that you can follow while crafting a message for friendship request on Facebook. But, something for inspiration.
“Hey Shelly, This is Rand from Bowdoin College. I really liked your argument on gun violence in your recent Facebook post. I’m writing a similar article on the topic and I was wondering if you could help me with your views.”
The bottom-line is she is less likely to accept your friend request unless there’s a strong reason behind it.
Don’t Take Her for Granted
Don’t take her for granted just because she has accepted your friend request. Don’t send her too many messages too early or this might send a wrong impression. Keep it formal and driven by a strong reason. Allow the friendship to grow over time and watch your behavior on Facebook.
Be polite with your while chatting with her on Facebook. Everybody appreciates some politeness and it doesn’t cost anything. Don’t brag about yourself – just talk about mutual interests all the time. This plays a key role in the growth of your relationship. Don’t forget to appreciate her for her time and help, if any, before ending the chat.
Also Read: How to Maintain Discretion on Facebook
Watch Your Typos
Typos can be annoying – they can also give a wrong impression about you. Worst of all, your messages could be misunderstood. Be careful about what you type and how you say things. Don’t use SMS abbreviations while chatting with an unknown girl on Facebook. You have a full-length keyboard so you should write complete words/sentences with capitalization and punctuations. This can make a huge difference. It shows that you respect her and appreciate the time you chat with her.
Recommended Reading: 7 Facebook Status Updates that Could Ruin Your Reputation
What would you say to a girl in your first message? How would you start a conversation with an unknown girl online? Let us know in the comments below.